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As someone who preaches recognizing the value of the journey instead of concentrating on the destination, a global pandemic has thrown a curveball at me this year. Everyone is growing more impatient by the day and just wanting this all to be over so we can move on with life.
I am no exception and the extra stress it has put on me this past year is noticeable on both my physical and mental health. The political climate this year was no help. I noticed everything coming to a peak around the election. I was ingesting 24 hour news cycle headlines at an unsustainable rate, motivation to work was slipping, and I was reaching for anything in sight that contained sugar or chocolate, preferably both.
This of course isn’t the first time in my life I have felt this way and I have noticed over time that these feelings tend to come in waves. Some are worse than others and given the circumstances, the collective stresses we have all felt this year are higher than normal.
The first key to getting back on track is knowing that these things will pass, but sometimes we have to help it along to get back to feeling like ourselves. In the moment it can feel like this situation will never end, but looking back they always do. We have science and technology on our side even if we can’t seem to get out of our own way. So yes, the pandemic will end. Not this month or next, but it will end. What we do in the meantime is our choice.
The second key is recognizing when we feel ourselves moving in the wrong direction. It is really important to take in the signs your body and mind are telling you. Introspection is one of the most powerful tools we have if we care to use it. For me, I was getting more irritable than normal, my blood pressure was high, and I was gaining weight (that’s a chicken and egg problem, I know). Another sign for me is that I will typically start trying to clean the entire house in one day and never quite feel like I have done anything.
So now that we recognize we are feeling like garbage and the world seems to be spinning too fast, it’s time to slow it down. Start with shutting out the noise. At the core of it, we only need to take care of ourselves and our family. What people are arguing about over politics or how to confront the pandemic on a larger scale is not important to making you feel better.
You can’t change society today to fit your world view, but you can control what is in your sphere of influence. Shut the news off and concentrate on what you need to do to have a successful day. If you have to ingest some news, get the data points you need and get out. Doom scrolling doesn’t help anything and only pulls you further into the void. There is plenty of incompetence out there that you can’t fix.
Meditation is a great way to re-center your mental health and you don’t have to be Buddha to do it. It can take many forms including sitting on the porch with a cup of tea and listening to the birds singing, taking a walk with the dog, or just relaxing in a hot bath or shower. Trick is to think about as little as possible while doing this. Focus on the sounds you hear or the colors you are seeing. Making time to do this might seem selfish to you but you are making an investment in your mental health so that you can be at your best for your family and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
Physical activity is also key to getting through a tough spot. Forget about weight loss goals, or whatever other burdens come with our reasons for working out. Honestly, these are the times I don’t feel like getting off the couch at all but the key is to just put your shoes on. If you do this simple act you are much more likely to follow through with getting on the treadmill, or going for the run down the street (Another hint from James Clear’s “Atomic Habits”). I never feel like starting the workout, but it’s the endorphins you feel after that really pay dividends and propel you into doing the next positive thing.
Just getting to this point sets you up for success moving forward. What I usually do next is try to tackle the motivation issues and that starts with setting small, attainable goals. Something that gives me that little reward of feeling productive but isn’t too hard to accomplish. I use this to build momentum into bigger things. It can be as simple as clearing some emails out of your inbox that have been dragging you down or putting that meeting agenda together that you have been putting off for three weeks.
Now that we are building momentum it’s time to take stock in where we are and recognize all the good things that we still have. Even in a pandemic. This week as Christmas plans were being cancelled and trips being put off I am reminded of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book, “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” No matter all of the negativity 2020 has given us, there are still good things all around, if we choose to look at them.
There are a lot of things we can’t do this year, but there are plenty that we can and they are right in front of us. So this weekend, we made hot chocolate, cookies, and popcorn, and brought them with us in the car to a drive through Christmas light display going on at a nearby development. Simple, quality time with family, enjoying the gift that others had given to us by taking the time to decorate their houses for the holiday season. Isn’t that the kind of thing we romanticized about but never had time for when there wasn’t a pandemic?
Moral of the story: Find those simple joys and exploit them now more than ever. By the way, in case you were wondering, you can indeed work out and then go have hot chocolate and cookies. It’s about self-forgiveness, something we really need to practice right now.
